Decent go right there, very decent go. One problem that befalls every short film maker is doing the script action of a feature film instead of a shot. Basic filmmaking rule is keep the audience interested 100%. In a feature film that means something of interest has to happen every 5-7 mins. With a short that mean every 1-2 minutes. It means you need to take this idea and condence your comedy ideas way down, concentrate them. Sit down and think of 5-6 funny things you could stretch out to a minute and then tie them together. You should pick this film up again, analyse it and re-write and film it. It would be a good exercise,

 

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