There are a total of 4 comments for this short film.
How true this felt, and how great you could capture all that "oh no...!!" in such a short piece. Nice one.
Totally disagree with the previous poor excuse for a critique. This is a really simple and great idea for a short. I liked the split screen especially at the top when they faded in and out which I thought might have helped give it a unique style if carried throughout. I also thought that the music really supported the idea. If there was a small criticism it would be that I think better actors may have brought even more emotion from the script. I would have loved to have seen more of the emotions, sadness, frustration with close ups and other angles rather than wide shots. This type of script is more powerful if played subtly, stronger more for what isn't said with dramatic pause. How ever as you say this was created by yourself so totally understand how that goes. it's a great idea well produced and paced and I really enjoyed it. Thanks for posting
Andi,
Thanks very much for your input. I did think of working more angles (in fact I filmed a few different shots for each side of the story) but I really wanted to see if I could make it work with single takes for each side. I really wanted the timing to be perfect, so as to emphasize just how easily something like this can happen in real life. I fully agree that more emotion could have been shown (essentially, a lot more close up shots - which was fully my fault as Director). It's the first piece of fiction that I've written, directed or edited so it was very much a learning curve. Thanks again for your kind words. Hopefully I'll have something new to add soon.
Paul