There are a total of 8 comments for this short film.
dude i give you plenty of cred for this movie, you have a great sense of story - and the directing is good too. your (or if not yours, whomever wrote this for you) scriptwriting needs some work - in my view the dialogue is way chunky and predictable and it just doesn't measure up to the great concept you got here. which is a shame cause as said, you have a great sense of story.
Yes, I also wrote the script. Dialogue had always been my weakness when writing stories. Your criticism is very much appreciated as this is my first attempt at film making and I would like to improve with the next one. Thanks for the complements on my directing and story.
If this is your first film, congratulations - had no idea this was your first film then I wouldn't have been so harsh on the dialogue man. When you script your next one feel free to hit me up here on The Smalls – I never mind to read a short script & give notes. Have worked as a reader, so there would be no pain. Keep going, you've got something good going on.
agree with comments here - this has the twists of a pretzel and all the elements to prove you know good action concept. laughed a bit at dialogue and acting, but who cares - you know how to tell a story and most people in the biz really don't.
Just watch a ton of films, read scripts and you'll find your own voice for sure. You got clear characters here and as already said, good concept.
a man stripped of his comfortable life
must summon all will courage and ingenuity
to save his son and himself.
this is reminiscent of a program with Kiefer Suderland
where will Bill Hassel go next to begin to reclaim his life.
For a first attempt, it can't really be faulted. I am assuming it was 'zero' budget, and you have locations and costumes etc. So that is a good start. As 'Dexter' said. You will learn by watching loads of films, both shorts and features. Learn what you like and what you don't.
I look forward to your next post.
Yeah it was a zero budget. I didn't really plan on making this film until the last moment. I went on vacation to Maine to visit my parents, which is where most of the fighting was filmed. I wrote the story a couple days before we arrived and was curious to see if I could actually pull this off. I filmed Krauser, the villain, his scenes later on in September. It was a ton of fun. Now that I know it can be done, I am eagerly planning the next one. Better acting, better fight choreography and more actors this time around. Thanks for watching everyone. Kudos to my dad and his old M-16 rifle. Those were live rounds I was firing into a hill as the mercenary.